Jump to content


Photo

Don't try to argue with Jaheira


4 replies to this topic

#1 BigRob

BigRob

    The Prince of Worthless Trivia

  • Gibberlings
  • 3874 posts
  • Location:Over there.

Posted 23 December 2010 - 05:09 PM

That's something that Aklon learns in this bit of banter from the two of them. Sadly, it's not Aklon's release for Christmas, but it's a little something just to show you that I've entirely been slacking off over the last year. I'll keep plugging on, and hopefully get a good chunk of stuff done now and into the new year so that you'll hopefully see Aklon before 2012. :)

So to everyone in the end of year holiday season, enjoy your festival of choice and a safe and happy New Year to all. :D




Jaheira: Mustn't be the city after all. Even out here in the Mother's beautiful wilds you've got a face a statue would be proud of.

Aklon: It has certain advantages.

Jaheira: I'm sure it has. Does a smile never deign to wander across your lips?

Aklon: This attitude I find most curious, coming as it does from you. A scowl is your accustomed mien, not a mask of gaiety.

Jaheira: Is it any wonder, when there is so much to be looked out for and so few with the will to do it.

Aklon: Hence my own lack of rampant inattention.

Jaheira: And every evening, the same exercises, over and over again.

Aklon: You are a warrior, you should know their purpose. Precision in battle is vital and repetition in peace helps assure it.

Jaheira: But look at you, not a drop of life with it. Does blood not run in your veins? The Mother's wrath and the Father's passion do not stir you? Or is your heart dead stone to match your statue's face?

Aklon: In some things there is no place for passion.

Jaheira: And the bloodletting of battle is not one of them. The man who fights without the inspiration of passion is as predictable as a mill wheel.

Aklon: Yet the man who fights without discipline will end as dead as a mill wheel, oft as not.

Jaheira: Balance must be in all things. If you can't let new life enter into your work, then when change comes, it'll be like the stone you are, violent and tortured to mirror the stasis before.

Aklon: I have life enough when I need it. Stone and fire used correctly make steel, not only hard but flexible, the perfect symbol of the warrior's ever fleeting goal.

Jaheira: There's no life in steel either, without a hand to wield it.

Aklon: It seems I cannot win. Do I detect that it is your passion, the critical eye, that is turned full upon me this <DAYNIGHT>?

Jaheira: Oh, you're starting to learn. That's good.
Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams

#2 Hide and Seek

Hide and Seek
  • Members
  • 115 posts

Posted 24 December 2010 - 02:35 AM

Very interesting.

I re-read the conversation a few times, and I really got the "Jaheira" feel from it.

"Is it any wonder, when there is so much to be looked out for and so few with the will to do it"
"The man who fights without the inspiration of passion is as predictable as a mill wheel."
"There's no life in steel either, without a hand to wield it."

I almost got a vision of Jaheira tutoring my poor PC in a history of life and balance. Poor Aklon, though I'd say he put up a better resistance than Haer'Daelis did.

NPC banter like this is always fun to read. Makes them feel like more then tag-alongs.
My thief/mage PC is looking forward to add Aklon into the ranks.

#3 BigRob

BigRob

    The Prince of Worthless Trivia

  • Gibberlings
  • 3874 posts
  • Location:Over there.

Posted 24 December 2010 - 05:04 PM

Thanks a lot, I'm glad I managed to get Jaheira sounding like Jaheira. As one of the stronger characters in the game, I'm always worried about making sure her voice shines through from what I write.

As you can see, I thought a lecture might be a good way to do that. :)
Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams

#4 Guest_guest_*

Guest_guest_*
  • Guests

Posted 30 December 2010 - 01:16 AM

"Aklon: You are a warrior, you should know their purpose. Precision in battle is vital and repetition in peace helps assure it."

I generally like this conversation, but this particular sentence gets to me. "Their" seems to be misplaced - perhaps "the purpose" would suit it better, or even "my purpose". I don't know, just a thought. But otherwise, wonderfully written, Aklon is sure to be a great NPC when he's released.

I hope 2011 helps to inspire your muse.

#5 BigRob

BigRob

    The Prince of Worthless Trivia

  • Gibberlings
  • 3874 posts
  • Location:Over there.

Posted 30 December 2010 - 08:09 PM

Thanks for the praise, I hope when I finish him up he'll be up to people's expectations.

Thanks too for the criticism of the writing. The sentence seems fine when I read it, but that could well just be my memory of writing him. Perhaps something along the lines you've suggested like this will work better:

Aklon: You are a warrior, you should know the purpose of such exercises.
Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams



Reply to this topic



  


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users