14 replies to this topic

[BigRob]

Well, because it was asked for, we have a few more little bits of pre-release goodies to view. These are a couple of Aklon's flirts for the PC, one verbal, one physical. Comments and criticism are always welcome, so if I look like I've made a hash of 'em, don't be afraid to say so.

Also, in going over these to selcect them, I have noticed that Aklon could really do with some more flirts... better take care of that in editing.




Aklon: (With no warning, Aklon reaches out and takes your hand. Smiling, he raises it to his lips and gives the back of your hand a kiss.)

(Before releasing it, he turns your hand over and begins to kiss the tip of each finger slowly, one at a time. When he comes to the last one, you feel the scrape of his teeth as he gently nibbles the sensitive skin).




Aklon: Ahh, the wilderness. The scent of the earth, the trees, the grass. The hint of distant climes on the wind, and in the middle of it all, one perfect, lovely flower.




(post edited for suggestions below for those who came in late)

Edited by BigRob, 23 February 2008 - 12:37 AM.

[Kulyok]

I think it's very good.

Try deleting "swiftly" in the first line, and "however" in the second.

[Domi]

Very nice I would also get rid of 'suddenly' in the first line, as there is alread "With no warning"; and the 'once more' in the second. Just for better flow and simplicity.

[Ankhesenpaaten]

Love the flirt Bigrob! Thanks.

[Riviera]

Aww, so sweet!

[Stnemele Faerie]

Yummy :

[Eleima]

**Swoons**

Ah, Aklon's such a sweetie!!... Can't wait til he's released!!
(As if we weren't piling up the pressure as is! )

[BigRob]

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it's good to see that they look good to discerning eyes. Especially that second one, I though maybe he was going a bit far.


And thanks too for the suggestions/corrections Kulyok and Domi, they're appreciated.

Some of that is my tendency to get overly complex with writing, and some of that was not editing out all the random scribbles when I was transcribing them from my notes. For those of you reading, the flirts will be edited at some point, so I should catch most of these kinds of issues before releasing the mod.

Edited by BigRob, 23 February 2008 - 12:36 AM.

[celticrose]

Eleima, on Feb 22 2008, 08:21 AM, said:

**Swoons**

Ah, Aklon's such a sweetie!!... Can't wait til he's released!!
(As if we weren't piling up the pressure as is! )

I second this post! We all await Aklon's release and appreciate all your time and effort!

CelticRose

[BigRob]

Well of course he's commenting on the local flora. What else could he possibly be referring to?



And thanks for the words of encouragement, Celticrose, we're getting there, slowly but surely.

[Tarayani]

Imagine my delight at returning to BOTH a preview and a progress report! Oh yay!
The flirts are very cute. I especially like the second one - it sounds completely Aklon (from what we've seen, at least).

Thanks, BigRob

[KIrving]

Nice!! Aklon's a bit of a tease!

BigRob, on Feb 21 2008, 04:44 AM, said:

Also, in going over these to selcect them, I have noticed that Aklon could really do with some more flirts... better take care of that in editing.

Yes, more is good.

[BigRob]

Thanks Tarayani and KIrving, I'm glad you like the look of Aklon's flirting style.

I suppose based on those comments, I could make a joke about Aklon being the mod for those who like their tease sweet, but I'll refrain..