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A Belated Valentine's Day Treat


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#1 BigRob

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Posted 20 February 2008 - 08:44 PM

Well, because it was asked for, we have a few more little bits of pre-release goodies to view. These are a couple of Aklon's flirts for the PC, one verbal, one physical. Comments and criticism are always welcome, so if I look like I've made a hash of 'em, don't be afraid to say so.

Also, in going over these to selcect them, I have noticed that Aklon could really do with some more flirts... better take care of that in editing.




Aklon: (With no warning, Aklon reaches out and takes your hand. Smiling, he raises it to his lips and gives the back of your hand a kiss.)

(Before releasing it, he turns your hand over and begins to kiss the tip of each finger slowly, one at a time. When he comes to the last one, you feel the scrape of his teeth as he gently nibbles the sensitive skin).




Aklon: Ahh, the wilderness. The scent of the earth, the trees, the grass. The hint of distant climes on the wind, and in the middle of it all, one perfect, lovely flower.




(post edited for suggestions below for those who came in late)

Edited by BigRob, 23 February 2008 - 12:37 AM.

Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

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#2 Kulyok

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 12:03 AM

I think it's very good.

Try deleting "swiftly" in the first line, and "however" in the second.

#3 Domi

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 06:43 AM

Very nice :) I would also get rid of 'suddenly' in the first line, as there is alread "With no warning"; and the 'once more' in the second. Just for better flow and simplicity. :)
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#4 Ankhesenpaaten

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 07:12 AM

Love the flirt Bigrob! Thanks. :)

#5 Guest_Hesquidor_*

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 09:57 AM

How lovely!! I really like the second one.

#6 Riviera

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 04:45 PM

Aww, so sweet! :)

#7 Stnemele Faerie

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Posted 21 February 2008 - 07:27 PM

Yummy : :D :) :) :)

#8 Eleima

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Posted 22 February 2008 - 08:21 AM

**Swoons**

Ah, Aklon's such a sweetie!!... Can't wait til he's released!!
(As if we weren't piling up the pressure as is! :) )
Check out my DeviantArt account
as well as my scribbling on FanFiction.net

#9 BigRob

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 12:35 AM

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it's good to see that they look good to discerning eyes. Especially that second one, I though maybe he was going a bit far. :)


And thanks too for the suggestions/corrections Kulyok and Domi, they're appreciated. :)

Some of that is my tendency to get overly complex with writing, and some of that was not editing out all the random scribbles when I was transcribing them from my notes. :) For those of you reading, the flirts will be edited at some point, so I should catch most of these kinds of issues before releasing the mod.

Edited by BigRob, 23 February 2008 - 12:36 AM.

Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams

#10 celticrose

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 07:59 PM

**Swoons**

Ah, Aklon's such a sweetie!!... Can't wait til he's released!!
(As if we weren't piling up the pressure as is! :) )




I second this post! We all await Aklon's release and appreciate all your time and effort! :)

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For they are quick to take offence, and faster to champion me."
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#11 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 24 February 2008 - 04:52 AM

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it's good to see that they look good to discerning eyes. Especially that second one, I though maybe he was going a bit far. :)


Wait. So Aklon's not just commenting on the local flora? :)

#12 BigRob

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 05:13 PM

Well of course he's commenting on the local flora. What else could he possibly be referring to? :)



And thanks for the words of encouragement, Celticrose, we're getting there, slowly but surely. :D
Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams

#13 Tarayani

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Posted 28 February 2008 - 09:28 PM

Imagine my delight at returning to BOTH a preview and a progress report! Oh yay!
The flirts are very cute. I especially like the second one - it sounds completely Aklon (from what we've seen, at least).

Thanks, BigRob :)

#14 KIrving

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 01:10 PM

Nice!! Aklon's a bit of a tease! :D

Also, in going over these to selcect them, I have noticed that Aklon could really do with some more flirts... better take care of that in editing.

Yes, more is good. :)
"We went out to play for the evening
wanted to hold on to the feeling
of the stretch in the sun,
and our breathlessness as we run
to the beach endlessly,
as the sun creeps up on the sea." Lille Lisa Hannigan

#15 BigRob

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 07:53 PM

Thanks Tarayani and KIrving, I'm glad you like the look of Aklon's flirting style.

I suppose based on those comments, I could make a joke about Aklon being the mod for those who like their tease sweet, but I'll refrain.. :)
Aklon: Traveller. Healer. Warrior. Lover. Coming Soon at G3 (I swear!)

Click here to visit Aklon's G3 page.

Cam is on some kind of crack or something... either that, or it's the influence of Dr. Feelgood. - Icelus


The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

-Douglas Adams



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